aka, My life as a pseudo-spasatel
My account of the controlled cahos of evacuating children from a Russian summer camp in advance of a forest fire, and living on the front lines of Global Warming.
None of the warning signs, not the day in Voronezh when the sky oranged and carried the scent of roast marshmallows, and not the time I spent staringly curiously at the six-wheeled fire-fighting behemoth in the camp parking lot, forced me to consider the possibility of evacuating from camp in advance of a forest fire. Even at quarter to twelve on Thursday, my molasses thick mind was more concerned with distracting the kids from the not-so distant white smoke billowing from the horizon. Within half-an-hour though, I had gathered all of campers at the riverside, and ten hours later, I sat down for an unexpextedly late lunch and tea back in Voronezh.
The one foto I snapped of the smoke, before I grabbed my bag and took off. (More fotos coming soon).
The fire-stoked winds spun the boats on the river like tea cups in Disneyland. Several boats got caught in the current downstream. One of my campers remarked to me, all smiles at her own wit, that the situation was like the Titanic, as there were not enough boats for everyone. It was a day for strange comments. I later found myself saying, in Russian, "Should I stay here with the women and children, or go back with you?" All we were missing was a band playing ragtime and waltzes on the deck of the sinking ship.
At first, I assigned myself the task of launching the small boats from the near-bank, and herding children and luggage in a somewhat orderly manner. It was a day for being flexible, however. Only a few seconds after I launched one boat it began to sink, and the elderly couple on board did not seem up to bailing it out. I jumped in and helped pull the boat across the river, verily lifting the old man out of the flooded rear, addressing him in kindly Russian 'Grandfather.' No sooner than we had bailed out the boat, than I took it back across the river, finding it easier to lasso the slime-green chain across my chest than to fight the wind. After several more runs, all the children and luggage were across the river, and my fellow Russian camp counselors Max and Anton called me back to grab fresh water for the kids, not knowing how long it would be before we could grab some more.
As we walked back to the camp, we could see the black smoke churning over heads. Anton, who with his long hair looked like Boromir's Slavic cousin, suggested that the smoke beyond was in fact evidence of the approaching Armies of Mordor. (I countered in a basso profundo that it was more like when Saurman's black magic that stopped the Fellowship at Caradhras pass). At the center of the camp, near the primary-colored bird cage, a bronze-haired octogenarian with a dark blue night gown begged us to save her parakeets. I later saw her sitting on the far shore later with two birdcages.
At our former residences there were gold-tooth Russian firemen, their grey hair betraying them as second-line forces, milling about in a frustrating effort to protect the camp with nothing but garden hoses. My friends and I however, ran from house to house gathering up the last drops of fresh water from the 20L cans, and tea biscuits for good measure. With a boyish energy we overburdened ourselves and returned to the riverbank.
By the time we got back to the shore the children has already started to move off the beach and through the fields, towards a road bordering a nearby camp. I help carry the last group and baby stroller acrouss the river, and returned the boat for any remainging people. I shoved my glasses in my bathing suit, and swam across the river one last time.
With the kids down the road, we were faced with a mixed assortment of oversized luggage and boxes of camp supplies. I strapped a pink duffle to my back, and wrapped my arms around a cream Samsonite, and headed barefoot and bare-chested down the beach. When we rounded the first bend in the river we could see a burning stump and charred grass still smoking on our side of the river. The high winds were flattening the heads of the wild wheat against the ground, while a light hale of branches snapped and fell on the path ahead. I put on shoes from my bag, and we headed on, keeping the black smoke to our backs. Walking the 3.5kms to the camp, I made the prerequisite jokes about our refugee status, and my friend added his suprise at the lack of Luftwaffe dive bombers in the air.
When we entered Camp Rainbow, we had to carry the assorted guitars, suitcases, and other paraphenalia through the rusted yellow amusement park gates. All of the kids were there, moving about in different stages of undress. In the Russian style, the other evacuees were busy depleting the local cafe's supplies of ice cream, beer, and tea. My first hint of the outside world came when the saleswoman admonished me for trying to open the 'fridge to get some water, tersely indicating that the power was off. I bought a bottle of tepid water and carried it over to the kids, who were already lunching on the animal crackers and candies their parents had packed for them. As soon as the cars started arriving, we produced a camp manifest, and packed the smallest children, clown-car stlye, into the back of the sedans. After as black Audi pulled away with nine kids in it, I grabbed hold my firend as she broke into gasping sobs, bereft of the opportunity of having said goodbye to her campers.
I caught the penultimate ride to Ramon in a four-wheeled Suzuki, with a woman in full-on Mama Bear mode. She drove with the skill matched by rally-car drivers in the Paris-Dakar Rally, navigativing the sandy path between pines at speed while working to locate her daughter with her iPhone 3G. We listened in silence to the Verve's Bittersweet Symphony, and watched the crowds of hitchhikers trudge through the woods.
At the rallying point at Ramon, on the River Voronezh, I found my male campers sitting with their shirts wrapped around their faces, Taliban style. They informed that the grey source of smoke in the distance was our camp burning. We took souvenir photos with the black smoke behind us, ate Anton's whole bag of Turkish delights, and watched the sun dissappear behind the pall of smoke. By seven pm, two mini-buses had arrived, and we loaded up once more, headed for Voronezh. On the bus back, Nikita, the nine-year old with boundless energy, pointed out all of the seperate fires that he could see on the horizon.
Now, four days later, I know that all the kids are safe, and most of my important posessions have been returned, including the digital camera I had left behind. I don't think that many have appreciated the scale of these fires, but I can attest to hearing the Russian fire bombers taking off several times every hour, and still smelling smoke in the air. Although the Russophile in me wants to draw strained parallels to the millions of Russian refugees that trudged across the countryside in the last century, without any certain future waiting on the other side, I think the more appropriate parallel, however, is with the current facts of global climate change. On paper, what happened is the linguistically muted subtraction of a Voronezh's biome losings its compound distiction, going from forsted-steppe, to simply steppe. Whitnessing it, I can say, was a bit more dramatic.
Although a few degrees centigrade doesn't seem like much, it is enough to dry a powder keg of kindling, raise grain prices, and sow the seeds for so many personal, regional, and national catastrophes. While reflecting on the twentieth century's memories of total war, I came to wonder if the stragglers with suitcases I saw trudging across the field with the smoke rising behind us, was perhaps a more prophetic vision of twenty-first century ecological disaster. I make no claim of expertise, and provide little evidence. All the same, I feel that even in small part, I've been whitness to a hinge-moment in modern history, also whitnessed by those many survivors of the California fires, those observing the death of virgin forests in the Pacific Northwest, and, yes, those watching glaciers dissappear. And if this a sample of the things to come, we might well remember that reacting to these impending crises as national, instead of global emergencies, would mean leaving our heads stuck in the smoke of the nineteenth century.
I'd appreciate your comments...More photos to come soon.
From Moscow to the End of the Line
А впрочем: о чем может говорить порядочный человек с наибольшим удовольствием? Ответ: о себе. Ну так и я буду говорить о себе. Достоевский.Ф.М. But what can a decent man speak of with most pleasure? Answer: Of himself. Well, so I will talk about myself. Dostoyevsky, Notes from the Underground
понедельник, 2 августа 2010 г.
пятница, 23 июля 2010 г.
Reklama Kaption Kontest II
Friends,
Time for more Reklama entertainment. More sexually explicit and quite ambigious advertsing, particularly when not attuned to the sublties of Beeline, Russia's largest mobile service provider.
Last Week's winner: Angela. Kapusta Girl Caption: "Want to make pigs in a blanket?"
Let's see how many contestants we can get this week, again, press "komment" below, and remember, winners can recieve a post-card from far-off lands, depending, of course, on how the Russian Air-Mail Service is doing.
The Voronezh Art Scene
In the upside of digital voyuerism, I am happy to share with a sampling of burgeoning artistic talent of Voronoezh. Hopefully, this post can counterbalance the moody-historical reflections of the last post.
Here, in a happy, wealthy verisimilitude of N. Korea, a little creativity goes a long way. While graffiti to some might represent a culture of neglect and vandalism, there is also the posibility of semi-illegal street art to enliven a community. The pervasive Soviet grey benefits greatly from even a little creative license and a broader color palate. And some of the designes, approach something quite sublime and affecting. All the artists are anonymous, but are (I hope) willing to spread their already generous public display to the Internet as a whole. I hope you enjoy.
Graffiti v. Street Art.
The taxonomy should be self-evident, but I'm going to classify misspelled scriblings; "F@KING LIVE!!!"
...and the pathetic (Leyna, Forgive Me...I want to be with you) VSPU, Student Cafeteria Wall) as graffiti.
Tagging
The creative tag John Hancock's prove just opaque when written in Cyrillic charecters. All the same, a sometimes beautiful bridge between graffiti and street.
Some Modest,
Some colorful,
Some rather impressive
The adorable-est bear in the world, next to his tag, KOMA.
Street/Wall Art
Flowing Witch Hair of Nikitinskaya
Ballon Paratrooper, outside the Imperia Dance Studio.
Man with a guitar, thinking about a bird cage.
The entrepenurial street-artist, benefiting from an advertising deal with a local internet company.
The dormitory of Voronezh State Pedagogical University. Street/concrete-wall-art proves to be an effective way of combating the provincial ennui of student life.
Celebrating the town's history: Peter the Great built the first ships of the Russian fleet here in Voronezh in 1695.
Gorillaz-like graphic style.
...with wizard hats.
Despite the glare, I can tell you that this is most-definetly the Silver Surfer, making a suprising comeback to the F.S.U., after his inhospitable greeting over Mosocw in Silver Surfer #1.
Continuing the tradition of Russian Futurism, particularly Mayakovsky's floating cities drawings.
Tag or Cloud City?
The Thinker's more intense cousin.
Some of the work near the VSPU Dormitory approaches the sublime.
I wasn't able to capture how beautifully these two designs flow together.
The most haunting image I've found, around the block from the VSPU's cafeteria.
Here, in a happy, wealthy verisimilitude of N. Korea, a little creativity goes a long way. While graffiti to some might represent a culture of neglect and vandalism, there is also the posibility of semi-illegal street art to enliven a community. The pervasive Soviet grey benefits greatly from even a little creative license and a broader color palate. And some of the designes, approach something quite sublime and affecting. All the artists are anonymous, but are (I hope) willing to spread their already generous public display to the Internet as a whole. I hope you enjoy.
Graffiti v. Street Art.
The taxonomy should be self-evident, but I'm going to classify misspelled scriblings; "F@KING LIVE!!!"
...and the pathetic (Leyna, Forgive Me...I want to be with you) VSPU, Student Cafeteria Wall) as graffiti.
Tagging
The creative tag John Hancock's prove just opaque when written in Cyrillic charecters. All the same, a sometimes beautiful bridge between graffiti and street.
Some Modest,
Some colorful,
Some rather impressive
The adorable-est bear in the world, next to his tag, KOMA.
Street/Wall Art
Flowing Witch Hair of Nikitinskaya
Ballon Paratrooper, outside the Imperia Dance Studio.
Man with a guitar, thinking about a bird cage.
The entrepenurial street-artist, benefiting from an advertising deal with a local internet company.
The dormitory of Voronezh State Pedagogical University. Street/concrete-wall-art proves to be an effective way of combating the provincial ennui of student life.
Celebrating the town's history: Peter the Great built the first ships of the Russian fleet here in Voronezh in 1695.
Gorillaz-like graphic style.
...with wizard hats.
Despite the glare, I can tell you that this is most-definetly the Silver Surfer, making a suprising comeback to the F.S.U., after his inhospitable greeting over Mosocw in Silver Surfer #1.
Continuing the tradition of Russian Futurism, particularly Mayakovsky's floating cities drawings.
Tag or Cloud City?
The Thinker's more intense cousin.
Some of the work near the VSPU Dormitory approaches the sublime.
I wasn't able to capture how beautifully these two designs flow together.
The most haunting image I've found, around the block from the VSPU's cafeteria.
Redshift
Like the long travelled red light of a dead star, the revolutionary iconography of an earlier era is suprisingly omnipresent in the Russian Federation. From the red stars that still adorn the Kremlin towers to the local V.I. Lenin statue in the neighborhood square, the rusting and paint peeling relics of the 69 year history of the Soviet Union add a sense of historical layering, that would not be out of place in Rome. While the double-headed eagles of the Romanov Crown did not fair so well in 1917, even the ugliest symbols of Soviet Rule proved suprisingly long-lived (Stalin's statue in Gori, Georgia was only taken down early this year). But for the most part, in Russia, officials have been stymied by a combination of an older generation's nostalgia, and a resignation at the hydra-like regenerative capability of inanimate Soviet Molding.
Fotos below:
Soviet memorbilia litters the all-to sunny-park outside the back enterance to the Tretyakov Gallery of Modern Art. (Also the basis for a memorable cerpuscular scene in the deliciously post-Soviet 007 film, Goldeneye). While poking fun at the Ozymandius quality of the park's broken nosed, red-marble Stalin Statue in 2008, my friend and I were quieted by an old-couple laying a blue bouquet at his feet. At the time, and to present, I thought the gesture rather inconsiderate to the memorial of Stalin's victims, right beside him.
Stalin's pal, and a strong competitor in the worst human-ever-category, Felix Dzerzhinsky, entombed in Statue Park after a decade's long run outside KGB headquarters. (Wiki image).
Lenin II, prominently displayed outside Voronezh Oblast Government Headquarters (Lenin #1 was carried off by the German-Fascists Invaders in 1942). Caption, "A noble heart embiggens the smallest man."
Back in Voronezh, Star and sickled steel gate.
"In Soviet Union, even lightposts celebrated glory of Socialist Progress"
The imposing pediment of the Voronezh State Pedagogical University.
Enlarged.
Sometimes tasteful updates to a buildings facade, in this case the Central Voronezh Post Office, results in permenant scars.
If only every town could have a "Praise to the Soviet Sciences" traffic circle.
The Dentist Academy didn't quite know what to do with the former resident's decorating style.
An ironic pairing. The Hammer and Sickle and Comfort Systems. A friendly reminder of all of the consumer electronics the motherly Soviet military-industrial-state never quite managed to provide.
From my estimations, a full 5% of the Soviet GDP went to memorial plaques, such as this one, commemorating the first meeting of the Revolutionary Bolshevik Committee in Voronezh.
More Soviet moulding.
V.M. Emeliyanovich, Hero of the Soviet Union. Died 1942. In the U.S., it would be surprising to see fresh flowers at a memorial outside the VFW Hall. In Russia, fresh flowers are the norm, and a guady white limousine, with a semi-inebriated wedding party, taking pictures at the city's forever flame, honoring the millions of war dead, is not an extraordinary happening.
An odd juxtaposition. Still looking for the money shot, Marx and the Cross.
Iconography recycled. The modern Russian state has borrowed heavily from its imperial forebearers, including the Romanov Double Headed Eagle. even tackling England's heraldric monopoly on St. George, with the Orange and Black making a comeback in Voronezh's billboards and suspended from car antennas.
The Hammer & Sickle, the penultimate symbol of young angst, second only to the misdrawn Swastika(Look to the upcoming post on Graffitti and Street Art)
Fotos below:
Soviet memorbilia litters the all-to sunny-park outside the back enterance to the Tretyakov Gallery of Modern Art. (Also the basis for a memorable cerpuscular scene in the deliciously post-Soviet 007 film, Goldeneye). While poking fun at the Ozymandius quality of the park's broken nosed, red-marble Stalin Statue in 2008, my friend and I were quieted by an old-couple laying a blue bouquet at his feet. At the time, and to present, I thought the gesture rather inconsiderate to the memorial of Stalin's victims, right beside him.
Stalin's pal, and a strong competitor in the worst human-ever-category, Felix Dzerzhinsky, entombed in Statue Park after a decade's long run outside KGB headquarters. (Wiki image).
Lenin II, prominently displayed outside Voronezh Oblast Government Headquarters (Lenin #1 was carried off by the German-Fascists Invaders in 1942). Caption, "A noble heart embiggens the smallest man."
Back in Voronezh, Star and sickled steel gate.
"In Soviet Union, even lightposts celebrated glory of Socialist Progress"
The imposing pediment of the Voronezh State Pedagogical University.
Enlarged.
Sometimes tasteful updates to a buildings facade, in this case the Central Voronezh Post Office, results in permenant scars.
If only every town could have a "Praise to the Soviet Sciences" traffic circle.
The Dentist Academy didn't quite know what to do with the former resident's decorating style.
An ironic pairing. The Hammer and Sickle and Comfort Systems. A friendly reminder of all of the consumer electronics the motherly Soviet military-industrial-state never quite managed to provide.
From my estimations, a full 5% of the Soviet GDP went to memorial plaques, such as this one, commemorating the first meeting of the Revolutionary Bolshevik Committee in Voronezh.
More Soviet moulding.
V.M. Emeliyanovich, Hero of the Soviet Union. Died 1942. In the U.S., it would be surprising to see fresh flowers at a memorial outside the VFW Hall. In Russia, fresh flowers are the norm, and a guady white limousine, with a semi-inebriated wedding party, taking pictures at the city's forever flame, honoring the millions of war dead, is not an extraordinary happening.
An odd juxtaposition. Still looking for the money shot, Marx and the Cross.
Iconography recycled. The modern Russian state has borrowed heavily from its imperial forebearers, including the Romanov Double Headed Eagle. even tackling England's heraldric monopoly on St. George, with the Orange and Black making a comeback in Voronezh's billboards and suspended from car antennas.
The Hammer & Sickle, the penultimate symbol of young angst, second only to the misdrawn Swastika(Look to the upcoming post on Graffitti and Street Art)
среда, 21 июля 2010 г.
Reklama Kaption Kontest
Friends,
I understand that you may not understand some of the strange charecters here in employed in the Heartland of the World Island (and some of the charecters employed on this page). Siezing upon this confusion, I think it would be fun if we try to translate, ala New Yorker comics, some of the most astounding billboards and streetsigns I have been able to photograph here abroad. So please, translate these fine examples of overt sexual innuendo, bizarre signs of primate-human affection, and poor, poor, exploited babies, for an English speaking audience. The winner of the week's Reklama (advertisment) Kaption Kontest, will have their caption re-posted, and, if they so desire, can recieve a post-card from far-off lands.
So let's begin.
Title: Kapusta Girl
Supply your captions below, by pressing "komment" in Russian letters. Contest last until Friday.
I understand that you may not understand some of the strange charecters here in employed in the Heartland of the World Island (and some of the charecters employed on this page). Siezing upon this confusion, I think it would be fun if we try to translate, ala New Yorker comics, some of the most astounding billboards and streetsigns I have been able to photograph here abroad. So please, translate these fine examples of overt sexual innuendo, bizarre signs of primate-human affection, and poor, poor, exploited babies, for an English speaking audience. The winner of the week's Reklama (advertisment) Kaption Kontest, will have their caption re-posted, and, if they so desire, can recieve a post-card from far-off lands.
So let's begin.
Title: Kapusta Girl
Supply your captions below, by pressing "komment" in Russian letters. Contest last until Friday.
пятница, 2 июля 2010 г.
Gazel-kis, Observed
Like any seasoned khaki-clad traveller, I know that the best description of a new place should be given in motion. Voronezh, being a smaller city of about one million, does not posess the grand peoples' metro, like Moscow or Budapest, and the fossilized remains of its street car system are quickly being swept into the dustbin of Soviet history. The latest and greatest invention to come to town, the Gazelii (Gazelles)a quick and nimble cousin of the marshrutkas, well-known to other visitors of the former CIS states. For those who have yet to make it to the Heartland of the World Island, think of a 15 passenger van, painted school bus yellow, with a lower, meaner prow, resembling the head of a charging ram.
When riding a Gazel, I would recommend the priveleged front seat, next to the driver. First off, facing forward with a view a good view of the windshield is the best way to combat the montion sickness that in the USofA, is usually reserved for amusement park rides. If riding in the back, I recommend an active imagination, to distract from the nausea of the ride. You can pose as Atlas, while standing like a crampt caryatid, supporting the vast weight of the van's roof, or sit, draw the curtains, and play the role of an unfortunate German submariner, with each pothole playing the role of a British depth charge. Sitting in the front, however, provides a more convincing charade of one's imminent demise, as you get to watch as the driver plays chicken with a two-and-a-half ton Soviet Army truck, whose brakes were last serviced when Chernenko was General Secretary.
Yet the true joy of being a co-pilot derives from being a silent spectator, and infrequent participant in the ancient art of Distracted Driving. Gazeli Vodeteli, the drivers that with my neologistic authority I henceforth deem Gazelkis, not only guide their nimble vehicles in and out of traffic, but also act as cashiers, exchanging 10R and 50R notes for the approriate change in coin and kopoeeks. This process is more complicated than it migh sound as it asks the driver to not only keep one hand flying from stick shift to the general vancinity behind the head rest, but also to mentally caluclate the proper change for multiple customers, handed forward collectively, while only resorting to verbal communication with the passagenrs as a means of last resort. Communication, usually in the form of a fluent cursing and expressive gestues, is reserved for chastising other drivers and allerting them to apparant blind-spots in their vision. All of this action occurs under the watchful of Boga Rodina, the Mother of God, swaying gently from the rear view mirror.
Still in my limited experience, I have discerned that not all gazelki are made alike. I have found that the drivers of 77 and 77a have the leathered hands, the look of grim determination reserved for heavy traffic and combat vetrans, and the impressive vulgar vocabulary to navigate the cataracts between the city center and the surrounding suburbs. One driver in particular has discovered the perfect Taylorist organization of his work, he can seamlessly exchange an oversized 100R note and slip past a city bust into oncoming traffic all at once. While the carefully balanced stack of rouble notes on the steering column and change drawer crafted from plastic beer bottles might seem percarious in their positioning at first, its superiority is revealed in teh magician like dexteriety of the gazelkis fingers, which can sort coin by blind touch, revealing in a pass its value, proper place, and year of minting.
Yet the elegant art of Distracted Driving belies the true thrill of the ride, the Chase. The best analogue is found in the natural world, where predator and prey face each other on Nature's highways, with cheetah and the titular gazelle achieve speeds approaching that of the taxis on the city's perimeter roads. As to what drives the Gazelkis of Voronezh, who their predators are, one can only speculate. But they maintain the rich splendor of the natural world. In the seeming cahos of overshot bus stops, darting moves past city buses, one sees the gazelle, leaping past a gaping hippopatomus at the waterhole, moving on to greener pastures. In other words, man finds himself acting out the cahos of the natural world, in the seemingly ordered environment of his urban home.
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